Our house is overrun by cats. We have four of them now -- Harry, Emmy, Abby, and Trixie -- and each has been rescued. Now that doesn't mean any were a bargain. Emmy cost us about two grand in vet bills after she found Bridget one cold November seven years ago. What do you do when a wretched starving beast finds your door to scratch at until you answer it? Meant to be, I suppose. Now she's a part of the Tingley household, and the grumpiest member of it. No good deed goes unpunished. In fact, that must be the Rule of Rescue when it comes to felines. How quickly a cat's gratitude for plenty of food, clean water, a warm place to sleep, and bit a catnip becomes cattitude -- i.e., that tolerance kitty begrudges you to hang out in her house.
Truth be told, cattitude is one of the reasons why I like cats. Not a way of life I recommend to human beings, at least those with a care for their mortal souls, but when it comes to animals this pride's not so bad. Cattitude is that untamed element in the domesticated feline reminding you that kitty is bowed but unbroken. That is why this witty bit contrasting dogs and cats that has been floating about the web for the past year (I wish I could identify the author) gives Bridget and me such a belly laugh when we come across it:
Excerpt from the diary of the dog:
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpt from the diary of the cat:
Day 983 of my captivity…
My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry
nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped
its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear
into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good
little hunter" I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of
their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for
the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell
the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies". I must learn what this means and how to use it to my
advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an
attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet
as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of
the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners
here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released -- and seems to be more than willing to
return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I
observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that
he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody
for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…